FREE ESSAY ON A REVIEW OF ON DEATH AND DYING

A REVIEW OF ON DEATH AND DYING

On Death and Dying
By Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 
For my book review, I read On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Dr. Kubler-Ross
was the first person in her field to discuss the topic of death. Before 1969, death was
considered a taboo. On Death and Dying is one of the most important psychological studies
of the late twentieth century. The work grew out of her famous interdisciplinary seminar
on death, life, and transition. In this paper, I give a comprehensive book review as well
as integrate topics learned in class with Dr. Kubler-Ross' work.
Like Piaget's look at developmental stages in children, there are also stages a person
experiences on the journey toward death. These five stages are denial/isolation, anger,
bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Death and Dying can be used as an aid to
doctors, nurses, clergy, and the patient's family. Issues such as unfinished business,
therapy, and hope for a cure for the terminally ill are discussed within this book. Each
chapter uses interviews with patients to express the key factors surrounding their
illness. Every patient knows that they are destined to die, and Kubler-Ross uses
one-on-one therapy to help in the healing process. 
To understand the process of death, it helps to have had someone close to you decease.
When I was nine, my grandmother had been suffering from a series of strokes and heart
disease. She had also been a smoker for most of her life and was an alcoholic. The poor
woman was not in such good health. I watched her go through these stages with pain in my
eyes. Before the strokes and the heart disease struck, she was very much in denial of
facing the inevitable. I remember her being angry and depressed about her situation, but
did not like to express much emotion. 
In one section of the denial analysis, Kubler-Ross states that it is usually a temporary
defense and will soon be replaced by partial acceptance (53). In relation to the
experience with my grandmother, who had a partial acceptance at the time of her death,
the majority of my family was struggling to find answers for things they could not
explain. My grandmother wanted to discuss how financial security and wellbeing matters
for her family would continue to thrive after she went to heaven. I agreed with
Kubler-Ross when she mentioned that this action not only served the interests of the
patient (my grandmother), but of the whole family's defensiveness. 
My grandmother was fairly hostile when she was in the pain before her death. Kubler-Ross
mentions that as the family reacts personally to this anger, they respond with increasing
anger on their part, only feeding into the patient's hostile behavior (65). Another
important quote from the section on anger states, Nobody can put on frosting when you are
hurting (85). This is true for many people. It seems that if one is feeling angry and
upset, surely enough the wheel of anger will revolve around to those around them. They
show examples of the importance of our tolerance to others rational or irrational not
only in dealing with terminal patients. Our ability to listen to others will help to
express the needs (such as comfort) of the dying patient.
Many times, the reason for dying is associated with bargaining for more time. I am
certain that through the whole process my grandmother thought, if only I had done this
differently, maybe God would give me more time to clean up my act and change my behavior.
I feel we can learn a lot from this section in our day-to-day lives. We all ask our
individual if only and if we are struck with an illness, we fight for the time we have
and attempt to make it worth while. If we did not live with this pain, such as my
grandmother had, we may lead different lives. Life is either more concerned with
materialistic values or of a greater faith in ourselves and in the Lord above. Some may
not believe in God or a Creator, and perhaps they may not experience this stage in the
game because there is no one to bargain with. The hands of time may be an atheist's
threshold. 
When people experience death, it is only natural to feel depressed. To make others endure
the medical burdens and other forms of grief prepare the person for the final separation
from this world. Kubler-Ross sees depression as an initial reactive depression and then
moving to a preparatory depression. The second one is an expression of the family
member's needs in particular and less verbal than the first type. I agreed with one of
the chaplain's in the interview which states, ...hard work isn't going to resolve the
kind of conflicts that life has created at this point. We either choose to let the
depression consume us, or we decide to accept death. 
To resolve most conflicts in our lives when we are dying is when we are able to accept
the inevitable. The ability to come at peace with one's situation is important not just
in terms of dying but also in other issues in society. I learned from this section that
we need to live one day at a time and quit planning our activities - we have today, but
we may not have tomorrow. 
On Death and Dying is written in a documentary style since Dr. Kubler-Ross analyzes her
work through a qualitative approach. She uses metaphoric language and incorporates
faith-based reasoning to understand the ills of the people. With a taste of death from
the past, I feel as if Kubler-Ross' words are healing and made sense to me. I can not say
one bad thing about this book because Kubler-Ross was an innovator in her field and the
first to voice her opinion about death. In a way she opened the doors to conversing about
death other than behind them. Upon finishing this selection, I learned that death is a
process and a journey of grief. 
Overall, I feel families who are dealing with a death should read this book. Kubler-Ross'
theories and insights were a valuable resource in the field of helping professions as a
career or in voluntary experience. When loved ones are suffering from a terminal illness,
we need to be open to the stages they are going to pass through and how it is going to
affect us in the process.