FREE ESSAY ON GENDER BIAS

GENDER BIAS

THE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Whoever said men and women are equal must be blind. Women have always taken a back seat
to men in American society. There has always seemed to be one set of standards that apply
to men, and another set of standards that apply to women. This is evident in the home,
workplace, and all throughout society. 
I would like to briefly discuss some of the differences that we learn about our gender,
which will enable us to better understand men, women, and domestic violence in society
today. Once we understand causation, we can then begin to understand effects and
prevention.
Our supposed roles as men and women start at the hospital when we are born. Boys get blue
blankets while girls get pink blankets. The toys we play with growing up are targeted at
either males or females. Toys that are made for little boys include trucks, blocks, guns,
soldiers, and action figures. While toys made for little girls include dolls, kitchen
utensils, dress-up, and doll houses. Boys are raised to be aggressive, tough, dominant,
and daring, while girls are raised to be passive, emotional, sweet, and subordinate.
These patterns and thought processes continue on into our adulthood and begin to play out
in our relationships with others, which include dating and marriage.
With these gender biases and stereotypes in mind, it is easy to see how domestic violence
can exist in today's society. More importantly, we begin to understand how these negative
messages can effect us personally. Although domestic violence includes sibling abuse,
elder abuse, and child abuse, the focus of my essay will be on spousal abuse. Domestic
violence has many names such as family violence, battering, wife beating, and domestic
abuse. However, as discussed in class, domestic violence is not limited to physical
beatings alone. Domestic violence is any behavior that is intended to subjugate and
control another human being through the use of humiliation, fear, and physical or verbal
assaults. 
So what makes an abuser? The goal of the abuser is power and control over their partner.
Domestic violence can affect all, but more often it is the male inflicting the harm due
to their physical advantage and also their societal taught dominating role. The abuser
tends to conform to the stereotypical view of the man and women. The man goes out to make
the money and support the family, while women stays home to cook, clean, and look after
the kids. In knowing this, it is easy to understand why leaving an abusive relationship
can be so difficult for the individual being abused, as leaving involves many needed
changes and few solutions to the problems. 
Domestic violence is a very important social problem that we must educate ourselves on
because it has such a profound and negative effect on the individual(s) being abused.
They are affected mentally, emotionally, physically, and I know from experience that the
scars can run very deep. Being in an abusive relationship for three years was devastating
to my self-image as a teenager, and because of these feelings of inadequacy, my
decreasing esteem allowed me to stay in such a dangerous scenario. Healing from the
negative effects of that relationship has been a difficult journey for me, and I can only
imagine how much more difficult it must be for women abused for years on end. To this
day, I struggle greatly with the ability to let go of my own "control" and trust others.
I have a very difficult time believing that my significant other can truly have my best
interest at heart. I have the intellectual ability to grasp the logical aspect of each
situation, but when it comes to matters of the heart I tend to be very guarded. It is so
important that we, as a whole, learn to extinguish domestic violence so that the healing
process can begin for many and never even be needed for others. 
Most people in today's society agree that domestic violence is wrong and think that it
should be stopped. As a society, we know that domestic violence is unacceptable, yet we
do very little to become involved and prevent it. Victims of domestic violence are often
reluctant to leave the abusive relationship because of their feelings of dependency.
People who are abused tend to think that there is no way out because they are so
dependent on their partner. They continue to put up with the abuse and learn ways to cope
with it. Domestic violence has been acted out for thousands of years, so it is no wonder
that there is still the acceptance and view from society that it is not a major problem,
or more accurately, it is not "their problem". 
When domestic violence occurs there is several different types of abuse that take place.
There is physical violence, emotional abuse, mental abuse, and sexual abuse, and although
many people do not realize it, sexual abuse does not exclude married or dating couple.
Being aware of the different types of abuse that can and are taking place is important
for us to know, because we can see this message being taught through the media,
entertainment, magazines, etc. Time and again, we see the woman being taken advantage of
or treated as an object by the man, and this negative portrayal of relationships seeps
daily into our own lives.
Teaching our children that violence is inappropriate and teaching them better methods of
problem solving, is the first step in ending domestic violence. One of the key components
to making the teaching of our children work is leading by example and setting a positive
model for them to follow. Educating society as a whole is also a very important key to
ending domestic violence, and this can be accomplished through changes in public policy
and practices. Greater consequences are needed since most abusers are only given a "slap
on the wrist", which impresses a message that domestic violence is something that people
can get away with it. Only when communities establish mandatory arrest and prosecution
policies, then will a message be sent out to the police and courts that domestic violence
is a crime that society will not tolerate. In my opinion, it is not only the individual
abusers, rather, society as a whole which needs great help. Domestic violence is still
extensive and this needs to end. Our media and entertainment industries still glamorize
and demean the seriousness of domestic violence, and they greatly influence our behavior
by showing false examples of how we should act and react to one another.
In closing, I do believe that we are on the right track to ending domestic violence but
our effort is just not strong enough because our message that domestic violence is a
crime is not strong enough. This class has opened my eyes and made me aware of what is
going on and what needs to be done. In the future, I will do what is needed to stop this
violence around me, and I will accomplish this by simply using my voice and speaking out
about what is wrong.