FREE ESSAY ON THE MENTAL KID

THE MENTAL KID

Ordinary People by Judith Guest is the story of a dysfunctional family who relate to one
another through a series of extensive defense mechanisms, i.e. an unconscious process
whereby reality is distorted to reduce or prevent anxiety. The book opens with seventeen
year old Conrad, son of upper middle-class Beth and Calvin Jarrett, home after eight
months in a psychiatric hospital, there because he had attempted suicide by slashing his
wrists. His mother is a meticulously orderly person who, Jared, through projection, feels
despises him. She does all the right things; attending to Jared's physical needs, keeping
a spotless home, plays golf and bridge with other women in her social circle, but, in her
own words is an emotional cripple. Jared's father, raised in an orphanage, seems anxious
to please everyone, a commonplace reaction of individuals who, as children, experienced
parental indifference or inconsistency. Though a successful tax attorney, he is jumpy
around Conrad, and, according to his wife, drinks too many martinis.
Conrad seems consumed with despair. A return to normalcy, school and home-life, appear to
be more than Conrad can handle.Chalk-faced, hair-hacked Conrad seems bent on perpetuating
the family myth that all is well in the world. His family, after all, are people of good
taste. They do not discuss a problem in the face of the problem. And, besides, there is
no problem. Yet, there is not one problem in this family but two - Conrad's suicide and
the death by drowning of Conrad's older brother, Buck.
Conrad eventually contacts a psychiatrist, Dr. Berger, because he feels the air is full
of flying glass and wants to feel in control. Their initial sessions together frustrate
the psychiatrist because of Conrad's inability to express his feelings. Berger cajoles
him into expressing his emotions by saying, That's what happens when you bury this junk,
kiddo. It keeps resurfacing. Won't leave you alone. Conrad's slow but steady journey
towards healing seems partially the result of cathartic revelations which purge guilt
feelings regarding his brother's death and his family's denial of that death, plus the
love of a good woman. Jeannine, who sings soprano to Conrad's tenor... 
There is no doubt that Conrad is consumed with guilt, the feeling one has when one acts
contrary to a role he has assumed while interacting with a significant person in his
life, This guilt engenders in Conrad feelings of low self esteem. Survivors of horrible
tragedies, such as the Holocaust, frequently express similar feelings of worthlessness.
In his book, Against All Odds, William Helmreich relates how one survivor articulates a
feeling of abandonment. Did I abandon them, or did they abandon me? Conrad expresses a
similar thought in remembering the sequence of events when the sailboat they were on
turned over. Buck soothes Conrad saying, Okay, okay. They'll be looking now, for sure,
just hang on, don't get tired, promise? In an imagined conversation with his dead
brother, Conrad asks, 'Man, why'd you let go?' 'Because I got tired.' 'The hell! You
never get tired, not before me, you don't! You tell me not to get tired, you tell me to
hang on, and then you let go!' 'I couldn't help it. Well, screw you, then!' Conrad feels
terrible anger with his brother, but cannot comfortably express that anger. His
psychiatrist, after needling Conrad, asks, Are you mad? When Conrad responds that he is
not mad, the psychiatrist says, Now that is a lie. You are mad as hell. Conrad asserts
that, When you let yourself feel, all you feel is lousy. When his psychiatrist questions
him about his relationship with his mother, Calvin says, My mother and I do not connect.
Why should it bother me? My mother is a very private person. This sort of response is
called, in psychological literature, rationalization. 
We see Conrad's anger and aggression is displaced, i.e. vented on another, as when he
physically attacked a schoolmate. Yet, he also turns his anger on himself and expresses
in extreme and dangerous depression and guilt. Guilt is a normal emotion felt by most
people, but among survivors it takes on special meaning. Most feel guilty about the death
of loved ones whom they feel they could have, or should have, saved. Some feel guilty
about situations in which they behaved selfishly (Conrad held on to the boat even after
his brother let go), even if there was no other way to survive. In answer to a query from
his psychiatrist on when he last got really mad, Conrad responds, When it comes, there's
always too much of it. I don't know how to handle it. When Conrad is finally able to
express his anger, Berger, the psychiatrist says to Calvin, Razoring is anger;
self-mutilation is anger. So this is a good sign; turning his anger outward at last. 
Because his family, and especially his mother, frowns upon public displays of emotion,
Conrad keeps his feelings bottled up, which further contributes to depression.
Encyclopedia Britannica, in explicating the dynamics of depression states, Upon close
study, the attacks on the self are revealed to be unconscious expressions of
disappointment and anger toward another person, or even a circumstance..., deflected from
their real direction onto the self. The aggression, therefore, directed toward the
outside world is turned against the self. The article further asserts that, There are
three cardinal psychodynamic considerations in depression: (1) a deep sense of loss of
what is loved or valued, which may be a person, a thing or even liberty; (2) a conflict
of mixed feelings of love and hatred toward what is loved or highly valued; (3) a
heightened overcritical concern with the self. 
Conrad's parents are also busily engaged in the business of denial. Calvin, Conrad's
father, says, Don't worry. Everything is all right. By his own admission, he drinks too
much, because drinking helps..., deadening the pain. Calvin cannot tolerate conflict.
Things must go smoothly. Everything is jello and pudding with you, Dad. Calvin, the
orphan says, Grief is ugly. It is something to be afraid of, to get rid of. Safety and
order. Definitely the priorities of his life. He constantly questions himself as to
whether or not he is a good father. What is fatherhood, anyway? 
Beth, Conrad's mother, is very self-possessed. She appears to have a highly developed
super-ego, that part of an individual's personality which is moralistic..., meeting the
demands of social convention, which can be irrational in requiring certain behaviors in
spite of reason, convenience and common sense. She is furthermore, a perfectionist.
Everything had to be perfect, never mind the impossible hardship it worked on her, on
them all. Conrad is not unlike his mother. He is an overachiever, an A student, on the
swim team and a list-maker. His father tells the psychiatrist, I see her not being able
to forgive him. For surviving, maybe. No, that's not it, for being too much like her. A
psychoanalyst might call her anal retentive. Someone who is fixated symbolically in
orderliness and a tendency toward perfectionism. Excessive self-control, not expressing
feelings, guards against anxiety by controlling any expression of emotion and denying
emotional investment in a thing or person. She had not cried at the funeral.... She and
Conrad had been strong and calm throughout. 
The message of the book is contained in Berger's glib saying that, People who keep stiff
upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile. We see Conrad moving toward recovery and
the successful management of his stage of development, as articulated by Erikson,
intimacy vs. isolation. At story end, his father is more open with Conrad, moving closer
to him, while his mother goes off on her own to work out her issues. Both trying to
realize congruence in their development stage (Erikson), ego integrity vs. despair.